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Home > Funny Poems > Funny Wedding Poems

Funny Wedding Poems about Marriage

 

  

Why funny wedding poems about marriage? If you or one of your friends is getting marries, you can make their wedding more memorable by using funny poems about weddings.

You can use the poem in your wedding vows to make then more unique and humorous. You can also read aloud the funny poem in your wedding ceremony for the guest and make a toast after it to the bride and groom.

Your funny wedding poem will give everyone a good laugh and make the memory of this day last forever in their mind.

So here are some top funny poems about weddings and getting marries. Enjoy!

1. Funny Wedding Poem: To My Bride

To my bride, I give you my heart
Sharing love each day, from the very start
To my bride, I give you my kiss
Filling each day with joy and bliss

To my bride, I give you my being
To love, to play, to work and to sing
To my bride, I give you my mind
Learning each day to be more kind

To my bride, I give you my soul
Growing together to be more whole
To my bride, I give you my life
Rejoicing each day that you are my wife.

2. Cute Wedding Poem: Perfect Woman

She was a phantom of delight
When first she gleam’d upon my sight;
A lovely apparition, sent
To be a moment’s ornament;
Her eyes as stars of twilight fair;
Like twilight’s, too, her dusky hair;
But all things else about her drawn
From May-time and the cheerful dawn;
A dancing shape, an image gay,
To haunt, to startle, and waylay.
I saw her upon nearer view,
A Spirit, yet a Woman too!
Her household motions light and free,
And steps of virgin liberty;

A countenance in which did meet
Sweet records, promises as sweet:
A creature not too bright or good
For human nature’s daily food;
For transient sorrows, simple wiles,
Praise, blame, love, kisses, tears and smiles.
And now I see with eye serene
The very pulse of the machine;

A being breathing thoughtful breath,
A traveller between life and death;
The reason firm, the temperate will,
Endurance, foresight, strength, and skill;
A perfect Woman, nobly plann’d,
To warn, to comfort, and command;
And yet a Spirit still, and bright
With something of angelic light.

More Funny Wedding Poems for You

Enjoyed the above humorous wedding poems? Then you can find even more free funny poems below. Choose any of them you find most interesting and feel free to share it with your partner or friends to get a good laugh. Enjoy!

  

3. Funny Wedding Poetry: I Wanna Be Yours

let me be your vacuum cleaner
breathing in your dust
let me be your ford cortina
i will never rust
if you like your coffee hot
let me be your coffee pot
you call the shots
i wanna be yours

let me be your raincoat
for those frequent rainy days
let me be your dreamboat
when you wanna sail away
let me be your teddy bear
take me with you anywhere
i don't care
i wanna be yours

let me be your electric meter
i will not run out
let me be the electric heater
you get cold without
let me be your setting lotion
hold your hair with deep devotion
deep as the deep atlantic ocean
that's how deep is my emotion
deep deep deep deep deep deep
i don't wanna be hers
i wanna be yours.

5. Funny Wedding Jokes and Quotes:

If Men Were In Charge of Planning Weddings....

There would be less "Oh Promise Me" and "Endless Love," and more "Louie, Louie" and "Mony Mony".

There would be a "Rehearsal Dinner Kegger" Party.

Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops. They would have NO tan lines and more skin showing than not.

Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would have matching team colors.

June Weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs.

Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically but omit that "forsaking all others" part.

Idiots that tried to dance with the Bride (unless they were really old) would get punched in the head.

Big slobbery dogs would be eligible for the role of "Best Man".

Ceremonies would be short and Honeymoons would be long.

Ceremonies and Honeymoons would be inexpensive compared to the cost of the Bachelor Party. Those strippers and liquor sure do add up.

6. Funny Wedding Joke: Early In Your Marriage

To the groom: Early in your marriage you will find it difficult to get the last word in any discussion. With time, though, you will learn how to always get the last two words in every discussion -- just make sure the words are "Yes dear".

More Short Funny Poems?

Looking for more funny poems for various occasions? You can find more free poems here. Check them out now and enjoy!