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Funny Kids Poems for Children

  

Why funny kids poems for children? Kids are curious about life and have a unique passion for hearing funny stories and poems. That's why as a parent or teacher, you can keep them interested and entertained by simply reading funny children poems for them.

Funny poetry comes especially helpful in kids birthdays and special occasions when you want to help your child have some fun. Kids poems are safe and sweet and perfect for children - both boys and girls.

You can find some of the best funny kids poems here. Simply choose the best ones you like and use them for free for your son or daughter. Enjoy!

1. Funny Children Poem: I Think My Dad is Dracula

I think my dad is Dracula.
I know that sounds insane,
but listen for a moment and
allow me to explain.

We don't live in a castle,
and we never sleep in caves.
But, still, there's something weird
about the way my dad behaves.

I never see him go out
in the daytime when it's light.
He sleeps all day till evening,
then he leaves the house at night.

He comes home in the morning
saying, "Man, I'm really dead!"
He kisses us goodnight, and then
by sunrise he's in bed.

My mom heard my suspicion
and she said, "You're not too swift.
Your father's not a vampire.
He just works the graveyard shift."

by Kenn Nesbitt

2. Funny Kids Poem: My Brother Ate a Planet

My brother ate a planet
I confess it was bizarre,
He consumed a couple comets
Then he gobbled up a star.

He was positively peckish
On an eating escapade,
So he slurped a supernova
With a glass of lemonade.

He absorbed the solar system
With extraordinary haste,
For an interstellar supper
Couldn't satisfy his taste.

He progressed with pure precision
As I witnessed with dismay,
How he swallowed in a second
The entire Milky Way.

Soon he guzzled every galaxy
They never stood a chance,
And were powerless to halt
His astronomical advance.

Not a particle was pardoned
In accordance with his plan,
He ingested every object
In a million light-year span.

All the damage he inflicted
I can't possibly reverse,
I should not have chosen candy
For my model universe.

by John Brassey

More Cute Funny Children Poetry for You

Enjoyed the humorous kids poems above? Then you can find even more free kids poems below. Choose any of them you find most interesting and feel free to share it with your friends to help lots of kids get a good laugh. Enjoy!

  

3. Funny Kids Poem: Witch Outside My Window

There's a witch outside my window
and she will not go away.
There's a gremlin on my doorstep
and I think he's there to stay.

There's a troll demanding candy
and a mummy wanting sweets.
There's a ghost, a ghoul, a goblin
and they're clamoring for treats.

And as if that weren't enough
to be considered rather shocking.
A vampire rang my doorbell
and the bogeyman is knocking.

My abode is now surrounded
by the recently deceased,
They're in search of gum and chocolate
on which they plan to feast.

It's the strangest situation
that I think I've ever seen.
How I wish they'd go away
and just come back on Halloween.

4. Funny Children Poem: My Dog is Running Faster

My dog is running faster
than he's ever run before
in a supersonic circle
in the middle of the floor.

He started somewhat slowly
but he quickly gathered steam,
and continued gaining speed
until his spinning was extreme.

He's turned into a whirlwind,
like a funnel cloud of fog,
so it's hard to even focus on
my whirling dervish dog.

He's like a small tornado
or a canine hurricane.
Why it doesn't make him dizzy
I'm unable to explain.

I only know he has this
most unusual of traits,
and he loves to chase his tail around
while wearing roller skates.

Funny Kids Poetry - Help Your Kids Have More Fun!

You know how sometimes you want to convince your children to do something or not to do something but they just don't listen to you? Then how about using funny kids poems as a reward to motivate them to act properly as you want?

Funny poems for children are a smart, easy, and effective way to attract the attention of your kids. Just try the funny poems above and below to see how amazing it works.

Here are more free funny poems for you...

5. Funny Children Poem: I Knew a Guy

I knew a guy
who knew a guy
who stuck his finger
in his eye.
Oh me, oh my!
That silly guy!
He stuck his finger
in his eye!
I asked him, "Why,
oh tell me why
you stuck your finger
in your eye."
But all that guy
would do was cry
and cry and cry
and cry and cry.
So stick your finger
in a pie
or in the sky
or on your tie
or in a toasted
ham on rye
or on a purple
butterfly,
but don't be like
that silly guy
who stuck his finger
in his eye
or you will cry
and cry and cry
and then you might
fall down and die.
Goodbye.

6. Funny Poem for Kids: My Snake

I have got a boa
Who's name is Annemarie
I found her, lying down
On a plain old prairie!

She is tame and very quiet
And doesn't even bite!
I think she'll need to go on diet,
For she's a tremendous sight!

Even though, she is so cool
She also has her bad sides
She sometimes is a bit of a fool
AND goes wild on rides

And one of the worst parts
(She might do it to you)
I swear it true I cross my heart
She squeezes you to glue!

More Short Funny Poems?

Looking for more funny poems for various occasions? You can find more free poems here. Check them out now and enjoy!